What to do when you've got to move.

The time has come to move. You've found the perfect job. You've found the perfect new place. The lease is up. You've gotta go! How do you break it to them?

• Make sure you tell your roommate as soon as possible. You have already found the next big thing, but now they have to make an adjustment. The sooner you tell them the easier it will be for them.
• No matter how bad of a roommate they are this is probably not the time to give them the laundry list. If it wasn't important enough to mention before it's probably not important enough to mention now, unless specifically asked. If they do ask about why you are ending your roommate relationship, be kind. In many cases, the roommate is simply oblivious to thing that bothers you. Try not to make an enemy for the last portion of your time together.
• Discuss how your accounts will be closed or transferred. You need to discuss dates of termination or transfer and the dispensing of any deposits that you may have jointly. If you are not getting a deposit back discuss the reasons. If his dog chewed a hole in the wall and that is the sole reasoning for the deposit being denied, it's fair to request that he pay your portion back.
• Make sure you give your new contact information to your roommate. There will be things that are forgotten or misplaced. Don't assume that your moving day is the last day you will ever see your roommate. Life has a funny way of putting us in contact with people we thought we were finished with. Try to end on good terms.

Note: I'll be moving to a new town in about six weeks! Be expecting more updates as I search for my new place. Next update will be about communicating with a potential new roommate and finding your new place in this world!

Roommate reasoning

Why do we have roommates? The giant amount of complaining would suggest that being or having a roommate is a bad experience, yet people do it all the time? Why? This subject doesn't require too much research. The top two reasons that I have found for being or having a roommate are:

1. Financially needing wanting someone to help with your bills.

2. Not wanting to live alone.

I think everyone can understand the financial reasons for having a roommate. Life is expensive. Sometimes rent and utilities can be a lot for one person to handle by themselves. A roommate is a good way to cut those costs.

I am a solitary person. It never occurred to me that some people might choose to have a roommate based purely on the fact that they hate living alone, but apparently, those people are out there.

Recently, I have rediscovered some of the little pleasures of living with another person. I especially like waking up and having tea with my roommate before we both start our crazy and hectic days. I remember not too long ago I came in the house and he took one look at me and knew something was wrong. When he asked about it I just burst into tears. He came over and hugged me and offered me a tissue. I felt like such a jerk. I'd been so miserable about having someone in my house that I had failed to recognize his attempts to connect with me.

I think in order to be a good roommate you must find a way to connect with your roommate. If you find a reason to say something nice and say it consistently enough you will eventually train yourself to think more positively about the other person. This has worked wonders for me. The first thing I think about now is not how there are dishes in the sink and poo in the litter box. The first thing I think about is how nice it is that both of us like cats, men, and good food. In that frame of mind I am less likely to speak harshly or out of anger. This is the first step on the path to roommate success.

What kind of Roommate are you?

Courtney Schoenfeld
Jerkface at Large.

I'll admit it. I am not the best roommate. I really like being alone. I have a hard time being social at home. I used to call my house the "Fortress of Solitude" and it was. My boyfriend has only been inside my house once and that was because he had to pee really badly. (Of course, he came at the WORST possible time since I had been away for the weekend and the cat box needed to be changed BADLY.)

I know that I was the one who wanted and sought a roommate. I admit that I turned down a few people in favor of a person I knew already and because one of the callers wanted to talk a lot and I wasn't looking for a new BFF. I started all of this trouble. I know also that I would be in a bad position if he wasn't there and that overall it's nice to come home and have someone there.

My roommate is really social and has people over all the time. We have a combination of FOUR cats. We each have two cats. He is a nice person for the most part, just really different from me.

Things I do wrong:

• General crankiness when his friends are over.
• Spend 90% of my waking hours on my computer with headphones on when I am at home.
• Perpetually call the house "my house."
• I never make dinner for him since I never know when he will be home.
• I communicate often with grunting and nodding.

Things I do right:

• I do the dishes 90% of the time.
• I keep my cat box clean for the most part.
• I am very polite about his cat box and am considering purchasing goggles so I can empty it myself.*
• I fold his laundry when he forgets it in the dryer.
• I sweep and mop the flooring when it needs it.
• I am attempting to communicate more with both positive body language and actual words.
• I make cookies that are public property as a goodwill gesture.
• I am polite when I walk into strange situations and do my best to communicate my scheduling.

*He has a Litter Maid, an automatic litter box cleaner. Basically, it scoops the poo into a plastic bin and later you just pick up the bin and take it out. When lifting the bin the plastic edges flip litter and poo into my eyes, even when I am wearing glasses!